Lesson learned.

After a good morning walk at the lake garden, I begin to rethink my future plan. I skip the library over a new monitor screen for my pc.

I skip the kingdom movie and bon odori too for the sake of other people's happiness.

***

I figure that I been thinking too much about something unnecessary and spending too many times on someone that I should consider as a seasonal person, especially in  2018 and this year.

I thought I helped them, but in the end, I just wasting my kindness on unnecessary people.

In fact, in the end, those people decided to be my enemy over a simple misunderstanding, and my friends were being poisoned to be against me.

Did they know how many times did I ever be patient to their annoying request and immature decision and yet still smile and helping them all this time?

What an ungrateful brat.

Well, whatever.

To tell you the truth, I already foresee this.

Its simple math, you knew from the very beginning they are not being honest with you. The words, body language, and action are all lying and full of rudeness, to begin with. It represents a selfish act rather than an honest one.

I mean a lot of people's, friends, my senior and the older before me, already face the same problem, it just a matter of time that I will be the next victim.

But yet I still help them. Yup, I know what your thinking.."this guy pretty stupid, he knows already yet still he help them".

Come on, I have my own code," never leave your friend without trying to help them."

But unfortunately, those were not "friend", I wish I realized it sooner.

Well, another whatever.

I will leave this stupid drama aside. I gain nothing good, people hate me, some leave me, avoid me, but I don't care bout it anymore. If by listening to the words of 'them' can be enough to judge me, then it's not enough to be in my circle as a friend.

Right now I'm professionally doing and improving my job. Getting along with 'professional' co-workers. And focusing on my dream and family. The house will come next year and perhaps it's a new beginning of this long-awaited plan. 

How bout friend?

Well, true friend, they will always stick around you, no matter what happened. They will remind you when your wrong, support you when your right. Those are the friend that you need to help when in trouble.

I learned my lesson, so hard that it makes me feel stronger than before. 

And yes, "You" out of my list.

Respect

When I was at a college, I used to have a lot of seniors who had to extends the study for more than 5 years.

Every one of them has a different reason for that. Car accident, repeat paper, miss class, family matter and so on. Some just end up with silly circumstances such as online gaming,dota, relationship, part-time work and simply lazy. Regardless of that, I have fun being with them. Some junior might feel ashamed to be associated with them. But for me no such thing.

Having respect for people who older or having experience things before us whether they good or not, was pretty much a rich lesson to me.

Thanks to those experiences, I never look down or disrespect my senior at my workplace. Even some of them are younger than me or treat me like a friend, or maybe treat me like trash, I still have a line that I put for myself to remind me that those are my seniors.

With that in mind, I can be professional at work. Although I'm still working on that.

On the other side, I don't mind if my junior doesn't want to respect me. After all, it is not compulsory for them to do so. And even so, I still treat them as a co-worker. It's a reflection that they want people to see about them so it might be weird if some of them whining about not getting involved in fun stuff or treating coldly by other co-workers later.

The advice I received from one of my superiors was like this (i was in junior years, and decided to quit my job) :

"No matter what happened, just be professional. We understand your situation, we are aware of that. But human is not easy to deal with, especially those whose carrier path is from other people's hardship."

............

Even a junky has good advice to others.

It takes someone who experiences a bad thing to give a good lesson to others. It's common sense.

So respect your elders. It's not about them, it all about what inside you.

Don't get mad when somebody treated you bad,you already do the same to others anyway.

When I was young I thought that responsibility and friend come along together.yet when I'm growing up, those two things don't seem to fit well.

People seemed to make a fine line between them. but I try my best to make the gap close. despite that, it seems like, they really want it to be like that.

So, I learned from my current experience that, some people who tried to be mature, don't want to mix their responsibility with friendship.yet they keep yelling about bonding, friendship, respect, and all that nice stuff, while unintentionally doing the opposite.

While puzzling but yet try not to be pondered by this, I decided to leave what I thought as "unnecessary" stuff behind.not all the unnecessary were bad stuff.it just that it won't fit with my current goal, and it will better off to others.

Simply say, I'm just trying to be a "bad guy" who generously backs off from some "nice people's life" whom they called a victim.

Yup, I think I'm the one who getting matured.ironically.

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Oh well, life goes on, been traveled and investing a lot at different places since young just to be failed by the hand of others.guess I'm getting used to it.

It's time to go home. Away from these city people.

Aku rasa aku yang sembang,tapi kenapa aku yang stay?

2018

 Bila semua ni berakhir,semua orang akan gembira.Seperti dulu kala.

 Dan aku berharap,ianya menjadi pengajaran yang berguna untuk masa hadapan.

 Semoga impian semua orang menjadi kenyataan.

 Aku penat,menjadi kambing hitam.Penat menjaga hati orang lain.

 Sekarang aku faham perasaan Uchiha Itachi.

 Tapi sembang macam mana pun,last2 yang pergi orang lain.Ironinya aku masih disini.

Lol.

Lesson no {XX}:Vomit....euuuww

The reason aku tulis post ni sebab aku tak dapat tidur.@#!@%$%,esok Monday,hey brain..esok isnin la..come on!!

Tu la jadinye kalau terlebih tidur pada hari Ahad.(sila ambil sebagai pengajaran ye)

Aku decide tuk ke 7E,beli nescafe dan chicken puff.Damm it,siapa yang main gear motor kesayangan aku ni!!!Nak duduk,duduk la,ni kaki gatal nak tekan2.Pantang tul aku orang kacau benda kesayangan aku ni..Grrr~!!!woof..woof..grrrrr~ (the hell?!)

Petang tadi aku makan makanan yang aku beli dari pasar malam belakang rumah aku.Tapi,tekak aku rasa tak sedap.Macam ada something sangkut dengan perasaan seakan-akan makanan tu tak nak turun ke perut.Senang cite macam ape yg korang tngk kat dalam iklan "Gaviscon". 

 He's my hero~!!

Aku rasa tak tenang,baca manga pun xleh nak concentrate.Aku rasa macam nak buang je ape yang aku makan,tapi sayang,penat2 aku turun beli habiskan duit,pastu nak buang.Lagi pun aku fikir kalau tahan lama-lama hilang la tu.Last2 aku decide tuk mandi(jgn mandi malam2,tak baik tuk paru2) and bile aku pandang mangkuk tandas yang bersih tu(terima kasih kepada roommate sbb rajin cuci) aku rasa nak muntah.

*scene ni telah ditapis*

Lepas habis semua tu,tiba-tiba aku rasa sangat tenang.Rasa lega gile,macam mamat dalam iklan "Gaviscon" tu. huhu

Apa yang aku makan tadi tu sebenarnya tak bagus.Tapi aku insist tuk xnak buang sebab sayang dan rasa rugi.

But once aku buang,aku realize that throw it away lagi better dari keep it and try to bear it.

Does it ring you somewhere? =)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Masa lepas akan jadi perkara yang paling indah yang kita pernah ada,dan juga perkara yang paling menyakitkan.

Aku tak tahu apa yang orang lain fikir,tapi aku rasa masa lepas tak semuanya bersangkut paut dengan apa yang kita jadi sekarang ni.sekurang-kurangnya pada aku ianya terbukti betul.

The feelin of gettin hurt by the past can only be cure by being a better person today.

Thats why I don't give a damn about the past.

As long as I never give up to fix myself now,I can be better later,better then the past.

---------

"I'm surprised you haven't heard,I'm trying not to love you"

p/s:buang bnyk sgt pun tak bagus,it just represent what kind of person you are~ =)

Goodbye Sunway~

She said:

"In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away"

Sekejap je dah 8 tahun.Tak sangka aku boleh bertahan sampai ke hari ni.

Kalau dia nak tambah extra 5 tahun lagi pun,aku boleh tunggu.

Close "or" open, no "and"+"vice versa"

What's wrong with a cat who come to your lawn for a food?

Just give it a food then he/she will walk away.

If by any chances they come again,maybe they thought you're good,nice and friendly.

If they didnt come,just remember those cat also have their own life.Their own playground to play.Their own friend to meet.Their own place to go.Their own dream to pursuit.Their own promise to keep.

Same goes to you.

What happen if you close the gate,and they just come by to say hi?

------------------

Close the gate before any cat come.By any mean,never open the gate.

or 

Open it to welcome any cat and continue accepting them.