These few years I admitted, I become toxic.
As much as I hate those toxic people in my life before, I become one.lol.
Didn't sure when did I caught this symptom.
As much as my friend remembered, I used to be a funny guy with a crazy attitude when I was a teenager
After I got my job, everything works out pretty much ok. Until the pressure comes.
Apart from that my media social account which I used to spend playing farm games, lol, was filled by hundreds of newsfeeds from my online friend. Almost 50% of it was negative input.
As much as I want to avoid it, sometimes I took a few minutes reading it just to understand a few of them. In my opinion, some people have a bad day, sometimes they just want to let it out or complaining about it so others can read and understand their situation. This is a common and very natural process as a human being.
That was my initial thought~
Until I read it every day and it starts to annoy me.Not just in media social, they even do it in everyday life. Especially when studying, hanging out with a friend, in a relationship or in the presentation of the project.
I decided to close my eyes and my ears from these "toxic" people because, at that time, I was in the '20s and I have a goal to achieve which is getting a job.
But,
The toxicity gets in me.
After a few years, these "toxic" people start to step into my boundaries and adding pressure to my life.
I start to complain about these people. Telling others how annoyed them to me. How difficult it was to handle them nicely. How much they keep accusing me with false opinion to others even they never meet me or work with me.
Just like them, I do the same thing they do before. Isn't that ironic?
And this ends up bitting me back.
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One day I decided to write a few opinions on my social network. Something about people who were ungrateful on the job that they already have.
Someone getting mad at me, not sure why, and the first thing I read on their newsfeed was their claim on me as a "toxic" person.
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Imagine being called "toxic" by a person who is "toxic" to begin with. I can't express my feeling at that time. I'm speechless. o_o"
Instead of getting angry with that, I decided to keep calm and re-evaluate my action. Ashamed to myself, I believe it true that I already become toxic like them.
And it shocks me to the bone.
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So, in the end, I learn to admit it and decide to fix it. I take a few steps to fix this unhealthy symptom.
One of them is by restriction the use of social media. I used Instagram more than FB or twitter. And I only filter my newsfeed such as charity and donation programme, travel photo and language study.
Secondly, I used a little bit of my money to travel. Its good once and for all to forget about your circle especially those "toxic" people, and see the others side of the world and learn other people culture. Its give me a boost in morale on persuading my career.
Third, avoiding "toxic" people. Doesn't mean I hate them. I just want them to know that I also have future and career to persuade. And after all these years, I still treat them nicely even until now. So I already did my part, and I think I have a right to make my own call.
Toxic people are not bad, they like us, having a normal life, sometimes they even have family and proper job. Maybe somewhere along the way, they walk in a different situation that makes them like this, or maybe they never even notice that they are toxic.im so glad that i a have a few friends who is nice to me by reminding me about my weaknesses.
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Being an adult was such a pain in the ass. But it is necessary for me to go through this. Because one day I'm gonna have my own significant other and a family and this experience really help me later.
And remember: "Life’s too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you."
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