Semalam macam ride roller coaster.Its start with a disciplinary talk and going straight to personal issues.Aku dapat laptop dlm masa 4 jam purchase.Ofcourse guna Lalamove, delivery payment ...yup RM60.
Tapi tu je the best option aku ade considering malam ni dateline dan aku ada 3 shot tuk disetelkan by tonight.
Magrib aku receive laptop,masuk rumah terus on kat couch install semua yg necessary tuk WFH dan pecut.
Imagine tengah bulan,time mco,beli laptop rm950 (ofcoz secondhand) semata2 nak catch up dateline hari tu.Memang keje gile.At least better dari pc aku, connection still slow but the response time dalam parsec better.At least boleh tengok frame by frame dengan clear.
Sayangnye,memang tak sempat.Paling lama aku boleh hold pun sampai pukul 5:30.Mata aku dah berat.10:00 pagi kang ade meeting ep baru.
So....yeah.Aku redha,but still aku continue buat shot sebaik mungkin.Aku takkan abadon job macam tu je.
Lebih kurang 12 lebih aku kena panggil meeting online.
The rest was history.
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This is the story yang aku tak rasa nak share dengan those exec or director or any higher up or even co worker aku sendiri.
Sebab nampak macam lame excuse.
Aku just letak sini,sebab one day aku akan trace back this post to remind me of what i been trough to survive.
Sebab aku menangis time meeting tadi,which aku sendiri tak expect yang people can drive aku to the corner out of the track.Aku assume yang stay dekat sini dah tak jadi fokus aku sekarang ni.Dan aku assume being soft spoken and nice to certain people was a waste of time.
Paling penting,they will be someone yang tak give a damn thing about the changes kau buat dalam life and keep digging the past yg kau already buried.
Words like :
"kau kena buat macam ni macam tu.."
Yeah,aku dah buat and masih lagi buat.Dan kalau kau tak nampak and aware aku tak blame kau,but please dont assume kalau tak tahu..please.
Or
"ape solution kau for this problem,to prevent this..."
Dude i already told you,aku dah take up action,i buy this f**** laptop ASAP.I even pay for that VPN!!!
Its clear someone tak bagi attention bila aku bercakap before.
Someone masuk dalam this room half cooked and with personal intention.
Kalau aku tak professional,aku akan break this person mentally tapi aku fikir tentang adab dan hormat aku pada orang.
Jujur aku cakap,tu bukan lawan aku.Aku fikir tentang keluarga orang sebab tu aku hold back.
Honestly aku agree with the point,tapi bile conversation dah kelaut,aku triggered.
Aku dah tak boleh toleransi dengan perangai yang macam ni dah.
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Lepas setel saki baki kerja aku terus tidur,flat atas lantai...of cos semalam tidur pun x sampai 2 jam.
Bangun dah 1 pagi.Tekak aku rasa haus gile.
Aku terus ke freezer minum susu.That was the best susu aku pernah minum seumur hidup aku.
On laptop,connect parsec setelkan 2 layout.
Spotify gatal play lagu2 giveup and sedih.
Masa ni kepala aku fikir macam2.Grabfood,foodpanda,jual rumah,balik johor,kerja fnb,hantar surat berhenti dan macam2 lagi.
Sambil tu tgk insta story coworker,tik tok tntg a guy bawak selimut to comfort babi yg dia bela.Title dia 'When prod try to comfort animator' something like that.
I guess im that babi huh..~
Tak nafikan aku terhibur, suddenly spotify aku play 'its what you've got'-pete dello and friends.
Bile dengar lirik aku tersenyum.
Yup screw it...dehel with this feeling guilty.
Giving up?
Kesah ape aku.
This is what i got at this moment,and im gonna hold this.If someone trying to take away from me,im gonna fight him/her.No more feeling guilty or respect.Screw all of that.
At least sampai aku ready tuk move one ke kerja lain.
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Setel keje aku on netflix and bukak back to the future movie.
What would i care much bout those damn thing at office while i have all this good thing around?
Its what you've got - Pete Dello and Friends
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
True love is, true love is
And it don't matter what you do
And it don't matter what you say
But hold on my friend, hold on my friend
And it don't matter if you're right
And it don't matter if you're wrong
But hold on my friend, hold on my friend
And even though the world may laugh at you
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
True love is, true love is
Oh, listen very carefully
And I'm sure that you'll agree
To hold on my friend, hold on my friend,
And in your heart you know it's true
That what you want belongs to you
So hold on my friend, hold on my friend
And even though the world may laugh at you
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
It's what you've got, it's what you've got
True love is, true love is
True love is
